Today Jack and we had the following conversation while I was taking a shower and he stood outside the bathroom door.
Jack: Mom! Are you done?
Me: Almost.
Jack. Oh. I was just checking on you.
Me: Ok, thanks!
Jack: Cause there are monsters in there.
Me: Oh, well I am tough I think I will be ok.
Jack: Um, I have a gun and you don't. Hello! (Yes he actually said this).
Me: I still think I will be ok.
Jack: But Mom they are giants! And I have a giant gun. They are really big. I need to come in there.
Me: (Giving up and turning off the shower) Ok, I am done. Come take care of the giant monsters for me.
The other day driving down to GiGi's house:
Jack: Mom I kinda have a told (cold).
Mom: Do you?
Jack: Yes because I sneezed. I can't kiss or hug anyone.
Mom: You could still hug someone. We spread germs by kissing or drinking someone else's drink.
Jack: Or kissing the ground? I won't kiss the ground.
Mom: That is probably a good idea. Don't kiss the ground.
Jack: How do hot air balloons fly? What if a hot air balloon floated away across the grass...
There is no negotiating with this kid...
He was playing with his basketball in the house the other day and it kept crashing into stuff so I said...
Mom: Hey Jack I think that is a better outside toy could you please play with it outside.
Jack: Um Mom. Basketball players actually (yes he said actually) play basketball inside and outside so I think this is kinda a outside AND inside toy.
Mom: ........ ( I said nothing. I thought of tons of responses later but by then it was too late he had already completely schooled me on this one).
Driving in the car the other day...
Jack: Captain! We have a simtuation (situation)!
Mom: What is the situation pirate Jack?
Jack: A baby giraffe is stuck on a rock and sharks are circling it. They are going to eat it!!!
Mom: Oh no! Not a baby giraffe! Hurry throw this rope out to it and pull it in!
Jack: That rope is not long enough (every time. They never let my idea be the one we use) this rope only goes to here and that is way to short to save the giraffe.
Mom: Oh. Ok....what do you think we should do?
Jack: Look! There is a helicopter and they are sending down their rope with a hook on it to rescue the giraffe.
Mom: Great! I am so glad that baby giraffe got rescued.
On Halloween...
Jack: Mom, people think I am a real ninja because I am so sneaky and I am wearing this costume. But I'm not. It's just a costume.
At the Dr.s office for his check-up...
Dr: (to Jack) Can you tell me your whole name?
Jack: Jack Attack.
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